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Mom and Daughter Bleach Debate
D1. Shigekuni Genryuusai
Me: He's over 2000 years old!
Mom: I guess God doesn't want him back...

Chojiro Sasakibe
Me: ...
Mom: is that a priest?

D2. Soifon
Mom: this is a girl right?
Me: yes
Mom: now why is it that in these shows the girls have short hair and
the guys have long hair? now what's wrong with that culture?
Me: she has two braids in the back...

Marechiyo Omaeda
Mom: Now why is he holding that spike-ball? Maybe it's stuck up his
nuts if you know what i mean...

D3. Gin Ichimaru
Me: well?
Mom: where are his eyes?! OMG he's got woman's eyebrows!
Me: he has eyes, he just keeps them slightly open. he's called foxface
shuukira - golden smile
Hisagi shuuhei Walked into his squads office to pick up some unfinished paperwork for squad nines take over,
he walked over to his room and was surprised to see the door was ajar. He pushed it open further and saw Izuru kira the 3rd squads fukutaichou sitting in the middle of his room with his knees up to his chest with his arms crossed over them, staring out of the window. he looked like he was about to cry.
Hisagi set the paperwork down on his desk and walked over to Kira. "you alright?" hisagi said putting a hand on his quivering shoulder. Kira immediatly wasnt so tight and relaxed a bit. Hisagi knelt down beside him and put an arm aroun
12 days of Bleach Christmas     On the First day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
          Ichigo Kurosaki

     On the Second day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
        The Last Quincy Fighter,
        And Ichigo Kurosaki

     On the Third Day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
         Three Shinigami,
         The last Quincey Fighter,
  
Pick-Up Lines“Congratulations, you’ve been voted most beautiful girl in the room, and the grand prize is a date with me!”
“I think I’m dead, because you have to be an angel.”
“Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?”
“What’s that in your eye? Oh, I guess it was just a twinkle”
“If you were a book, the writing would be what we call FINE PRINT!”
“If I could hold a star every time you made me smile I would have the entire night sky in the palm of my hand.”
“If you were a booger, I would pick you first.” (O.O ... Gross...)
“Were you arrested earlier
Ways To Annoy Bleach  10 Ways To Annoy The Bleach Crew
 (Not that I'd ever do any of this, *wistels suspicously*)
Rukia
1. Tell her that Ichigo spies on her every night and holds a mirror under her mouth to "make sure the midget was breathing"
2. Release a thousand Chappy Bunnies and tell her that if she dosen't catch them all soon Ichigo will get them
3. Pretend to spill hot choclate on her wedding dress and run for your life!
4. Tell her to watch "Kudjo"; then make Ichigo scare her; watch the fun
5. Tell her that Ichigo bought her a Chappy for Christmas and watch her destroy the house
6. Tell her to sing the Chromatic scale as fast as she can; watch
Accidental KissByakuya x Renji, light yaoi
My first fic, so don't kill me
I don't own Bleach

-----------------------------------------------------------

It was a typical day in Soul Society. Renji was rushing with his usual “Shinigami” business down the hallway in the 6th Squad. He had to deliver some papers to Byakuya and then he would have a free day. So it was natural that he was in such a hurry.

While planning his free time, Renji finally approached Byakuya’s office. “A few more steps and I’m free for the whole day” he thought to himself. Suddenly, he tripped on something on the ground. At the very moment when Renji
BLEACH: Vampires ch. 1Sakura blossoms fell delicately onto the beautiful grass as morning took it's first breath.

Raven hair fell into the face of a newly woken Byakuya.

"She's awake..."

The man looked across the room to the door.

A familiar red head stood in place of his door, a bundle in his arms.

"She's awake now? At this hour?" Byakuya asked, looking at his clock. His eyes widened for a moment, but soon returned to their normal dark sweetness.
"Renji... it's nearly 4:00 am..."

"I know..."
The red head nodded, coddling the bundle and kissing it softly.
"...But she wants to be up. You know we can't stop her."

Byakuya pulled his covers down, making room
Six Words: Bleach
We all share the same... heart.
Troublesome CaptainsCaptains number thirteen
In the Soul Reaper's world
How to tell them apart:
Is their hair straight or curled?
We'll start with Old Yama
He's a truly old fart
Even though he knows all the
Shinigami Demon Arts
He's rather quite boring
So let's move to Squad 2
Where the captain's named Soi Fon
And her hair's black, not blue
She's pretty and looks Asian
And packs a good kick
Her martial arts skills
Are what make her tick.
Next we'll discuss
Smily Ichimaru Gin
His sword shoots at people
And his heart's made of tin.
He acts like a snake
And he bites like one too
Rukia's scared of him
He's creepy, that's true.
Retsu Unohana
Bleach E-mail adresses
What if the Bleach characters had E-mail adresses?

Who would they write to?

What would they write?

How would they respond to junk mail, spam, chainletters, & fan-mail?

& what would their E-mail adresses be?

I can't answer ALL the questions, but I CAN answer the LAST one ^^

E-mail adresses of Bleach:

Ichigo: StrawberrySwordsman@bigsword.com

Rukia: ChappyFan1@bunnies.net

Ukitake: tbkandyman@shirouchan.net

Hitsugaya: IceHeartToshi@stfu.com

Kanpachi: DeathSwordOfdo0m@killsu.net

Byakuya: SenbonZakura81@royalpain.org

Komamura: SuperOkamiMan@howlingman.net

Ganryusei: sirpwnsuall@ancients.com

Mayuri: Maddoctor351@experiments.org

Touse
Night of Seven: Chapter 1In midst of the quiet classroom, Kurosaki Ichigo finally found some peace. The teacher’s voice was muffled against his thoughts. He rhythmically tapped his pencil against the spiral notebook in front of him. Things here seemed so calm, so simple. Where he was a few months ago he almost thought he would never get out. Almost: something he would never admit to the others. His amber eyes squinted, a chunk of orange hair falling in front of his face.

Back in Hueco Mundo the fight to save Inoue Orihime was fierce and deadly. His fight with Ulquiorra left him severely damaged and it took him months to recover, even with Orihime’s healing
Browse More Like This

More from ~Okitakehyate

Stairs of doom - a crazy ideaOne day fine Ukitake & Okita met near a flight of stairs & Hayate was there too.

Ukitake: I'm feeling daring today Okita

Okita: Oooh daring you say?

Ukitake: yeah I got a crazy idea! Lets do something really bold!

Okita: yeah okay, what?

Hayate: *coughs in the background*

Ukitake: The two of us are gonna race... up those stairs!

Okita: Oh my... up the stairs!?

Ukitake: Yes... & no flash steps..

Okita: oh.. but Uki that's crazy!

Ukitake: come'on Oki let's do this!

Okita: oh... gee... I dunno...

Ukitake: the loser... makes tea & soup for the winner!

Okita: oh alright...

Ukitake: 1... 2... 3!

Okita & Ukitake: (running up the stair
Bleach Toys We'll Never SeeThese are toys I made up that will "probably" never be seen... at least here in the US... (resemblance to actual toys here or in Japan is coincidental & Bleach Belongs to Tite Kubo NOT me)

Yamamoto's Hijin Jaka flame-thrower [guaranteed to burn the house down]

Soi Fong's Tsuzumibatchi with oversized temporary tattoos & iron on decals.

Gin's Blade-Launching Shinzo press a button on the hilt to launch a plastic sword acrossed the room. [shoot 'em dead Shinzo, or at least shoot someone's eye out]

Unohana's Giant Inflatable Minazuki Bounce House. [it won't actually heal you like in the anime, but you can jump around inside] XD

Byakuya's Senb

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Bleach Pick-Up Lines

:iconokitakehyate:

Yamamoto Genryuusai: With age comes "experience"!

Sasakibe Choujirou: Do you have a condom young lady? I have some Viagra!

Soi Fong: I'll be your "Crouching Tiger" if you show me your "Hidden Dragon".

Oomaeda Marechiyo: I'm big so there's more of me to love.

Gin Ichimaru: Ya see this smile? You gave it ta me. Would ya like me ta return the favor?

Izuru Kira: You make me weak in the knees..

Unohana: Undress now. Please remove all clothing it is time for your.. "hands-on physical". ;)

Kotetsu Isane: Did someone call for a "nurse"?

Hanataro: uh.. um.. would.. you.. like to go out with me? *makes cute face & holds up a flower*

Sousuke Aizen: Tell me, do you like good guys? Or do you have a thing for the bad boys? Because I can swing "both ways" ;)

Byakuya Kuchiki: Why kiss frogs when you can have a prince.

Renji Abarai: So, you like my tattoos huh? If you come to my room I can show you them all.

Komamura Saijin: Come to my quarters & I'll show you, what an "animal" I can become.

Kyouraku Shunsui: every line in the -guy's- book of pick-up-lines

Kaname Tousen: Oh my love, you are a more beautiful then hands can feel. Allow me the pleasure of touching you again.

Hisagi Shuuhei: *points to cheek* I have this tattoo for a reason. Come to my room & I'll show you why. ;)

Hisugaya Toushiro: Don't let my height fool you, I'm big where it counts.

Rengiku Matsumoto: every line in the -girl's- book of pick-up-lines

Kenpachi Zaraki: Hey babe, you like it rough? I do. I've got a sword, you got sheath.. how 'bout I put it in hard & fast.

Ikkaku Madarame: Hey lady, I got a cool lookin' battle scar you wanna trace it & see where it goes?

Yumichika Ayasegawa: Ooh Goodness! Your almost as beautiful as I am!

Mayuri Kurotsuchi: Well well, aren't you an interesting specimen? Come to my lab & we'll do some "expirements".

Nemu Kurotsuchi: I'll be yours if you'll be my "master"

Ukitake Jushiro: Need more sugar? Come to my room later. -Or sometimes: *feels forehead* uh oh, either I've got a fever.. or your makin' me hot.. ;)

Urahara Kisuke: Come to my shop. I've got "just what you need". ;)

Yoruichi: Cat's are quite "flexible".. let's see if I retained some in human form.

Ichigo Kurosaki: yeah, I got a big sword.. & my zanpakuto ain't too bad neither!

Kon: Ever sleep with stuffed animal? Want to?

Rukia Kuchiki: Hey, lets make like "rabbits". *holds up perverted bunny sex pic* ;)

Yasutora Chad: How 'bout "a little Mexican" tonight? ..no? How 'bout a BIG one? *points to self*

Uryu Ishida: Hey, how about we "thread the needle"?

Ryuuken Ishida: Sure. Smoking is bad for me, but I can be "good for you". ;)

4,970

220 91 61
:iconokitakehyate:

Bleach Pick-Up Linesby ~Okitakehyate

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I'm having a green Christmas by using a potted Christmas tree insead of a chopped down one, recycling leftover warpping paper, & aparently collecting coal in my stocking to advance clean coal technology... with my naughty Bleach pick-up-lines fic. =D I hope you like it!

Ukitake: did I really say that one?

Shunsui: only when your feeling feverish.. come're "hotty"! :smooch:

PS

This: :jackdirt: is what Rukia's sexy bunny pic looks like so don't get too excited.
©2008-2013 ~Okitakehyate
Category: Literature / Prose / Fiction / Humor

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Submitted on
December 14, 2008
File Size
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:iconakatsukibridesmaid:
~AkatsukiBridesmaid May 2, 2013
hanataro's is so cute!
Reply
:iconcrazyartstalker:
~Crazyartstalker Jan 6, 2013  Student Photographer
What made me laugh the most was applying those chatup lines to the "know your captains" at the top ;) Utterly brilliant!!
Reply
:iconhell0tokyo:
~HELL0TOKYO Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Ahaha Chads' one is the best xD
Reply
:iconshunshirouayaka-ks:
~ShunShirouAyaka-KS Dec 29, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ukitake Jushiro: Need more sugar? Come to my room later. -Or sometimes: *feels forehead* uh oh, either I've got a fever.. or your makin' me hot..

OMG... Ukitake Taichou, you just heat me up...
Reply
:iconokitakehyate:
~Okitakehyate Dec 29, 2011
LOL! I knew you'd love those :XD:
Reply
:iconshunshirouayaka-ks:
~ShunShirouAyaka-KS Dec 29, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you just can't stop heating me up.. don't you?
Reply
:iconokitakehyate:
~Okitakehyate Dec 29, 2011
Too hot to handle?
Reply
:iconshunshirouayaka-ks:
~ShunShirouAyaka-KS Dec 30, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
stop making me blush already~!
Reply
:iconokitakehyate:
~Okitakehyate Dec 30, 2011
ok
Reply
:icononshin-rasbrightside:
~OnShin-RAsBrightSide Dec 22, 2011
I love Yumechika's <3
Reply
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