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If I should disapear I want you all to know...

Fri Nov 27, 2009, 9:56 PM

.: Purple Lights




If I should disappear I want you all to know... That there is a reason for it.. Other then being dead or sick or deathly sick.. so I don't want you to worry about me. My anti-virus software wore off & I should have lept on the chance to install the free upgrade quickly while I still could.. especially when my e-mail password got stolen.. that should have been a red flag.. but I was too lazy. I'd be kicking myself for it hard enough to break a hip if it were physically possible.. cuz it's all my fault for not doing that & I am mentally/emotionally beating myself up for it so bad that I don't even need to be punished. I'm not physically hurting myself though.. so don't worry about that. It's not really my fault entirely cuz someone else made the virus that infected my computer. So, I won't blame myself completely. Anyways.. my computers yahoo-IM & AOL are not working so I cannot do IM or access the things I have in my favorites list there, but I am lucky to still have firefox working as a form of internet explorer that I can use to read & send e-mail & go to websites like deviantArt & youtube. I don't know how long it will last though.. so I might disappear for a while at some point :but I will milk what (possibly) little time I have this access for all it's worth by e-mailing, sending Christmas E-cards, and making some updates & journal entries online.

Fear not I will get it fixed before this year ends or first thing next year but will put Christmas as my first priority by making sure everybody's gifts are mailed out before I get it fixed. Even if it takes until just before Christmas or some time in January to get it fixed I will send presents to friends & family first! I am doing this because I feel I've been to selfish hinting to friends about things like t-shirts, yaoi manga, games & stuff.. I mean sure I have some reason for that since even before this I didn't know if mom & dad would have money to buy me anything.. and now a nintendo wii, or even Bleach the 3rd Phantom on Nintendo DS seem like just dreams that will be beyond my reach since I may have to pay anywhere from $60 - $114 for the virus removal.. $60 could have bought 2 video games & $114 could have gone tword buying a nintendo wii for $200... I don't want any of my friends to buy anything as expensive as a nintendo wii for me though.. cuz that's probably more then they can afford & would be too selfish of me. I guess what I'm trying to say is.. I'm trying not to be too selfish by putting others' gifts first & my computer last. I really wouldn't mind a gift a drawing or at least an e-card for Christmas though.. if you were all close enough to me I'd ask you for hugs too. Well my gifts I mail out might be mostly small things like home made stuff made from beads, or little store bought things like a keychain, a bookmark, an inexpensive book, a magnet, or socks... maybe even just a drawing or an e-card for some friends online I don't have addresses of. It's the thought that counts & I'll be thinking of EVERYONE who is my friend or family & pouring my whole heart into what I give them & encourage them to do the same. Merry Christmas in advance incase I don't get the chance to say it. I won't let it ruin my Christmas & want you all to enjoy yours too! I'll be making gifts, drawing, cleaning & decorating the house, reading, playing games, watching DVDs & using my cellphone until the computer is fixed.

When I am done with e-mail, journals & e-cards tonight I'm going to bed because I am really really tired & need to take my computer in tomorrow for an estimate of how much it will be.. then go to the mall.. then Walmart again. I have my cell phone to receive calls & get e-mail & text on still so I can be reached that way.. maybe I can even do IMs on it. Well that's all for now.

  • Mood: Regretful
  • Listening to: Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park
  • Reading: E-mails and notes
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: chocolate swirl icecream
  • Drinking: water... wish I had some booze though

Thankfullness quiz

Journal Entry: Thu Nov 26, 2009, 9:49 PM
I was gonna post before midnight on Thanksgiving, but I accidentally closed the window half way threw before I finished.. ^^; Oops my bad! Took longer then I thought it would

What are you thankful for?

Home:
[] I own or are buying or renting a house or apartment with my own money
[x] I live in my parent's house
[x] My house isn't falling apart or in need of many repairs
[x] There is a heater & air conditioner or at least ceiling fans
[xx] There's more the one bathroom (put 2 Xs if there's a tub in 2 of the bathrooms)
[x] The toilet flushes
[x] There's lights in every room
[x] There's a refrigerator, a microwave & a stove in the kitchen
[x] There's a toaster & a coffee pot in the kitchen
[x] There's a working dishwasher in the kitchen
[x] There's a garbage disposal in the kitchen
[x] I have my own room
[x] I have a warm comfy bed to sleep in
[x] I have a closet & a dresser with draws to put stuff in
[] I have place for everything & everything in it's place
[x] The water & electricity are on & there's enough money to keep paying to keep it that way
[x] My home is big enough for me & whoever I share it with/invite over
[x] Pets are allowed where I live

Conveniences:
[x] I have cable TV
[xxxx] I have a TV (put an X for each TV in the house)
[x] I have high-speed internet
[x] I have a computer in my home that can access the internet
[x] I have a printer
[x] I have a scanner
[x] My computer is in my room
[] There is more then one computer in the house
[x] My TV is in my room
[x] I own a working video game console
Put an X for each one: []Playstation, [x]PS2, []PS3,[]PSP []Dreamcast []NES, [x]Nintendo64 [x]Gamecube,[]Nintendo Wii, []X-box, []X-box 360 [x]gameboy/gameboy color [x]gameboy Advance/SP [x]Nintendo DS
[x] I own videogames for my consoles
[x] I have a DVD player
[x] I have DVDs
[] I have an i-pod or mp3 player
[x] I have a CD player
[x] I have an alarm clock
[] I have an iphone
[x] I have a cell-phone with a camera
[x] I have a cell-phone
[x] I have unlimited text & talk with my friends on the phone.

Stuff:
[x] I have plushies
[x] I have dolls and or figures
[x] I have puzzles
[x] I have boardgames
[x] I still have toys that I had when I was a kid
[x] I have books/manga to read
[x] I have decorative objects in my home (candles,vases,fountains,ceramics,lamps,knickknacks,ect)
[x] I have more stuff then I know what to do with
[x] I have art supplies for painting &/or drawing and coloring pictures
[x] I have beads, glue, stencils, string, and other stuff for making crafts
[x] I have my own car
[x] My family has 1 car to use
[x] The car runs good & gets good gas millage
[x] The garage is too full of stuff to fit the car inside
[x] All the closets & drawers in my house are stuffed full
[x] There's a table & chairs to eat meals at
[x] There's a couch in the living room
[x] There's a loveseat & a reclining chair along with the couch
[x] There's some sort of table in each room cept bathrooms (endtable, nightstand, coffeetable, ect.)

Food:
[x] I have enough too eat
[x] I have snacks around to eat whenever I want to
[x] I usually have leftovers to save for later
[x] I have fresh fruits & veggies in the kitchen
[x] I have frozen food in the freezer
[x] I have what I need to make a salad (real one with lettuce)
[x] I have a fridge full of food
[x] I have a full pantry/full cupboard
[x] I have breakfast cereal
[x] I have crackers
[x] I have juice
[x] I have soda
[x] I have candy, cookies, cup-cakes, pie, or cake
[x] I have corn chips, potato chips, pretzels, or cheese flavored crackers
[x] I have stuff to make a sandwich (like bread, peanut butter & jelly or lunchmeat, cheese & mayo)
[x] I have dairy products like cheese, milk, yogurt, & ice cream (or soy versions of those)
[x] I have pasta of some sort
[x] I have some kind of meat, tofu, or beans for protein
[x] I have canned &/or instant soups
[] I'm not hungry most of the time

Pets:
[x] I have a pet
[x] I have more then one pet
[x] My pet(s) are in good health
[x] My pet(s) are well behaved & don't destroy furniture, chew things up, or pee/poop on the floor
[x] I can afford pet food and other supplies for my pet(s)
[x] I can afford a big enough cage or aquarium for my pet(s) to move around in
[] I can afford to have my pet(s) groomed by a groomer
[] If my pet gets sick I can afford to pay the vet
[x] I love my pet(s) & think my pet(s) feels the same about me
[x] I don't have to give up my pet(s) to move to a place they aren't allowed

Friends:
[x] I have more then one friend
[x] I have at least one really good friend
[] I go places with my friend(s) sometimes
[] I hang out with my friend(s) at least once a week
[x] I hang out with my friend(s) at least once a year
[] I've met all of my closest online friends in person
[x] I've met at least one of my online friends in person
[x] I have friends I can trust with my secrets
[x] I have friends that comfort & encourage me
[x] I have friends that make me feel needed
[x] My friends care enough to worry about me when I'm hurt or sick
[x] My friends remember me on my birthday & on holidays by sending gifts or at least an e-card
[x] At least some of my friends are nice to me & don't do or say mean things to me
[x] My friends tell me what I need to hear instead of just what I want to hear
[x] My friends are loyal & feel they can trust me
[] I'm still friends with people I knew in school or played with as a kid
[] Most of my friends live near by
[] I'm not afraid of losing friends because they tend to stick by me
[x] My friends do whatever they can to help me or cheer me up when needed
[x] My friends love me like I'm family
[x] My friends don't use me for selfish reasons
[x] My friends enjoy my company (at least I think)
[] My friends never think I'm annoying no matter how much I talk
[x] I have at least 1 or 2 friends who call or text me just to say hi & ask how I'm doing
[x] My friends sometimes text or talk with me for hours
[x] I feel more loved by friends then by my family sometimes

Family:
[x] I have a mom & dad who love each other or are at least still together
[] My parents are separated, but I visit both of them & know they both still love me
[] I have single parent who cares as much as 2 parents put together
[] I have alot of siblings
[x] I have at least one brother or sister (technically I have 2 half-brothers)
[x] I have at least one brother or sister in-law (2 sister in-laws)
[x] I have aunts, uncles, & cousins
[] Most of my relatives live nearby
[] I'm often visited by family members who live in other states
[] I know all my relatives & are well liked by most of the family
[x] I'm loved by my immediate family -parent(s) &/or step-parent(s)-
[x] One or both of my parents would care if I got sick & take me to a doctor
[x] One or both of my parents would be sad if I died
[x] I don't/wouldn't mind living in my parent's house with them
[x] My family is lax with discipline & doesn't/hasn't put alot of strict rules in my life

Love:
[] I have a boyfriend or girlfriend I'm romantically involved with
[] They feel the same way
[] I'm in love with someone who actually knows I exists
[] I'm dating
[] I'm engaged
[] I'm married
[] I haven't broken up with/divorced anyone I was with
[] My spouse or lover isn't cheating on me
[] I'm married
[x] At least some of my family members love me
[x] I am loved as friend

Kids:
[] I have kids of my own
[] My kids are well behaved
[] My kids are physically & mentally healthy
[] My kids do well in school or at least have a talent of some sort
[] My kids don't hate me
[] My kids get to grow up with both a mother & a father

Health:
[] I am perfectly healthy
[] I don't get sick that often
[] I fight off illnesses pretty quickly
[] I don't have any chronic illnesses or pains
[x] I at least feel good at the moment
[x] I don't have a birth defect or a genetic disorder
[x] I don't have a weight problem or an eating disorder
[x] I'm not injured
[x] I have working arms & legs
[x] I'm not missing any body parts
[x] I don't need surgery for anything (at least I hope not)
[x] I'm not stuck in the hospital or bedridden
[x] I think I managed not to get a cold or flu yet so far this month
[x] I can speak & sing if I want to
[x] I can breath threw my nose
[x] I've been vaccinated against H1N1 (swine flu)
[x] I'm not coughing up blood or thick globs of phlegm
[] I'm not allergic to anything in the air
[] I'm not allergic to any food (just bluecheese)
[] I'm physically fit enough to run up a flight of stair without getting winded
[x] I'm physically fit enough to get some exercize by walking, playing nintendo wii, swimming, practicing martial-arts, or enjoying alittle fast dancing if I don't over do it.

DeviantArt:
[x] I get mostly good comments on the stuff I post
[x] I get comments on my stuff sometimes but not always good
[x] My posts get faved
[x] I have friends on devientArt

There, Now do you feel less "emo"? I tag: :iconilovelizards: :icontbbishixo: :iconkira4inu: :iconkureyo: :iconjazkastar: :icontb-samurai: :icondibstah: :iconinonibird:

  • Mood: Happy
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: E-mails and notes
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: cranberry flavored jello
  • Drinking: Water

I should be dead

Journal Entry: Tue Nov 24, 2009, 1:58 PM
well lets see how bad i am ^^

double x means that ive done it more then once :3

[ ] smoked
[x] consumed alcohol
[ ] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[xx] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[ ] kissed someone of the same sex
[ ] had sex
[xx] had someone in your room other than family
[xx] watched porn (anime porn)
[ ] bought porn
[ ] tried drugs

TOTAL: 7

[xx] taken painkillers
[ ] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[xx] lied to your parents
[xx] lied to a friend
[x] snuck out of the house
[xx] done something illegal
[xx] felt hurt
[xx] hurt someone
[xx] wished someone to die
[x] seen someone die(dieing,if that counts)

TOTAL: 24

[ ] missed curfew
[xx] stayed out all night
[ ] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[ ] been to a therapist
[ ] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair
[x] been in an accident
[ ] been to a club
[ ] been to a bar

TOTAL: 28

[ ] been to a wild party
[ ] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[ ] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[xx] had a spring break in Florida
[x] sniffed anything
[xx] wore black nail polish
[xx] wore arm bands
[xx] wore t-shirts with band names
[xx] listened to rap

TOTAL: 39

[xx] dressed gothic
[xx] dressed girly
[xx] dressed punk
[ ] dressed grunge
[xx] stole something
[ ] been too drunk to remember anything
[ ] blacked out
[x] fainted
[ ] had a crush on a neighbor

TOTAL: 48

[ ] had a crush on a friend
[x] been to a concert
[ ] dry-humped someone; been dry humped
[ ] been called a slut
[x] called someone a slut
[ ] installed speakers in a car
[x] broken a mirror
[x] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[ ] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush (most probably)

TOTAL: 52

[ ] considered Ludacris your favorite rapper?
[xx] seen an R-rated movie
[xx] cruised the mall
[ ] skipped school
[ ] had surgery
[xx] had an injury
[ ] gone to court
[ ] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[ ] caught something on fire
[x] lied about your age

TOTAL: 59

[ ] owned/rented an apartment/house
[ ] broke the law in the police's presence
[ ] made out with someone who had a GF/BF
[ ] got in trouble with the police
[xx] talked to a stranger
[x] hugged a stranger
[ ] kissed a stranger
[x] rode in the car with a stranger
[xx] been harassed
[xx] been verbally harassed

TOTAL: 67

[x] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[xx] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[xx] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[xx] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[xx] been to a fair
[x] been called a bad influence
[ ] drank and drove
[ ] prank-called someone
[xx] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[ ] cheated on a test

TOTAL: 79

If you have 00-10 ... write [I'm a goody-goody]
If you have 11-20 ... write [I'm still a goody-goody]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I'm average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I'm a bad kid]
If you have 41-50 ... write [I'm a very bad influence]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I'm a horrible person]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 71-80 ... write [I should be dead]
If you have 81-90 ... write [I got a ticket to Hell]

  • Mood: Hungry
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: E-mails and notes
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: sweet potatoe
  • Drinking: Water

another quiz I took from Jazkastar

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 22, 2009, 10:32 PM
1. So who are you?
Kim

2. Are you ready for this quiz?
Sure why not.

3. Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
nope

4. Name someone that made you laugh today?
I think it was something :iconilovelizards: said

5. So what are you listening to?
Nothing right now

6. I bet you're multitasking. What tabs do you have open?
surprisingly not very many.. just 3. Though I have had alot of them open before while reading e-mails, updating clubs, looking for pictures, IMing 2 people, watching amvs, & working on a video or a fan-fic

-aol e-mail
-gaiaonline
-deviantart

7. What was the last book you read?
The Tea House Fire, stil haven't finished reading it.

8. Look behind you, what do you see?
The door to my room, pictures on the wall, a desk with plants & fish bowls on it, a chair, a tv stand with some junk on it, my entertainment center with my tv in it.. & alot of clutter that I need to organize.

9. Do you like blue cheese?
nope, allergic to it.

10. Favourite hobby? Drawing, reading, writing, watching anime

11. So what places would you like to visit?
Germany, Denmark, Australia, and Japan

12. Favourite colour?
Red, purple, & black

13. What would you do if someone randomly came up to you and poked you?
where and how hard :XD: no really! If it were in my ribs I'd probably yelp.

14.How old will you turn in 2010?
22

15 .When is your birthday?
July 11th

17. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
Maybe...or maybe not.

18. Would you ever get a tattoo with someone's name on it?
No

19. Who was the last person that made you cry, why?
:iconilovelizards: I'm glad she decided to stay friends with me.

20 .What does the 7th message in your [cell] text inbox say?
really tea right now would be nice

21. What did you have for breakfast?
tottal raisen bran 100% daily value of 11 vitamins and minerals.. I'm such a health nut.. :XD:

22. What's the most recent movie you've seen?
I think it was the 2nd Bleach movie on DVD

23. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a B?
Yes

24. Where will you be 2 hours from now?
In bed, hopefully sleeping soundly

25. Have you ever been awake for 2 days straight?
No, but I've been going to bed late & sleeping in the past 2 days. There have been times I've delt with insomnia before though.

  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: E-mails and notes
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: Water

quiz I took from Jazkastar

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 22, 2009, 10:16 PM
Are you texting someone?
I've been texting :iconilovelizards:

What was the last thing you looked up on Google?
lyrics to the English version of "Brothers" from Fullmetal Alchemist written by Vic Mignogna.

When was the last time you went on a cleaning spree?
The last time my mom made me clean my room.. *looks around* I need to go on another one.

What are you listening to?
Nothing right now

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
probably :iconcupcakemichi:

Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you?
pretty much

What is something you are excited about?
the 1st of December when I'll be meeting :iconilovelizards: in Florida, then Christmas, then next years Metrocon

Could you handle living with the last girl you texted?
yeah I think living with :iconilovelizards: would be fun.

Have you ever tried sushi?
I tried a cucumber roll

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
Probably not, but maybe

Have you ever broken a couple up?
No

Do you know who your next kiss will be with?
No idea

How have you felt today?
a little tired, but okay

Do you think you would make a good parent someday?
Yeah, I'm a very caring, sweet & nurturing person, but would also make sure my kids did what they needed to do to be healthy, and stayed away from smoking, doing drugs, or drinking. I might baby them alittle too much, make it alittle too easy to fake sick, & probably let them get away with reading/watching/looking at/writting some naughty anime stuff & being a bit lazy at room cleaning, & watching too much tv & playing to videogames too much though. Id say I'd be a good yet kid spoiling parent.

Would you rather be hot or cold?
Somewhere in between

You kissed someone today, didn't you?
No

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from?
No idea, I think mom bought them from somewhere.

Does anyone disgust you?
Just smokers & druggies & people who harm animal or other people.

Is there someone on your mind?
:iconilovelizards: has been on my mind alot lately

Are you a shy person or outgoing?
Hmm... depends who I'm around. I'm out going when I'm around friends or at an anime con, but would be too shy to approach someone I didn't know and and tell them I wanted to date them or something though..

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
Yes

Do you like cheesecake?
Yes

Have you ever given up on someone but then went back to them?
Yes, a friend :icongreeneyedgemini: we started talking on gaiaonline again.

When was the last time you totally broke down?
When :iconilovelizards: got mad at me for something I said & didn't wanna be friends. That doesn't matter anymore though cuz we made up.

Has anyone ever told you, you have pretty eyes?
Not sure...maybe?

How old are you turning?
22 next year on July 11

Do you get stressed easily?
Unfortunately yes, usually over things like contagious illness going around or things that are going on with my friends.

What are you doing tonight?
I'm gonna go to bed soon, unless I decide to do another quiz first

What were you doing at 3 am last night?
looking at pictures on deviantArt, & updating the members list on some of my clubs.

Does the last person you held hands with go to your school?
Nope, I was home schooled so I didn't go to school with anyone

What are you planning to do tomorrow?
Nothing. might write some fan-fics maybe.

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
whoah, it sure is late again.. I gotta start getting to bed sooner.

Will you be up before 6 am tomorrow?
Oh gawd no

Do you wake up cranky?
I try not to...but I'm not a morning person and I have been known to be cranky in the morning sometimes

Have you ever laughed at something that wasn't meant to be funny?
Yeah

Do you think more about the past, present, or future?
The future, I've pretty much abandoned the past all together & find the present nearly impossible to focus on.

What or who woke you up this morning?
:iconilovelizards: calling me.

Are you happy?
Yeah

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
:iconilovelizards: must be feeling bored/lonely again to be calling me.

Honestly, do you hate the last guy you were talking to?
no reason to

  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: E-mails and notes
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: Water

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